In the past few months, my life has taken some twists and turns. I haven’t had a clear enough mind to sit and write much of anything, but for some reason…I was motivated to begin today.
I suppose I should start with this past October…our rental home lost the ability to provide running water for our family. The truth is, we had learned to survive without ample running water, for a long time. We knew when we moved in that we had a low yielding well and the simple inconveniences of using paper plates, taking turns showering, buying bottle water and avoiding things like a slip and slide, where worth the sacrifice if it meant I could provide a safe roof over my childrens heads and not have to move them into a new school. Shortly after my divorce, December 2011 my landlord was the only one, who offered to rent to me….a single mom, with no credit, on a limited income, with two young children and two dogs. A home we would make our own, and call our “The Gingerbread House”.
In late October, we ran out of all water. The drought that had overcome the state of Connecticut, along with the underlying issues of having a bad pump and shallow well, had finally taken their tole. As if things couldn’t have gotten worse, a trip to the veterinarian uncovered our family dog had a non treatable illness and within a matter of days, I had to make a very tough choice and put her to sleep. The kids and even my husband recovered from her loss, relatively quickly. I however, struggled more then I had imagined. I had lost part of my purpose as her daily caretaker. With her gone and the water situation still not rectified, plumbers coming and going, doing what was needed to repair the well. I found myself completely helpless.
The only way I stayed sane in those next few days and weeks, was to randomly drive around and look at houses for sale or rent. I found myself a realtor who listened to me, somedays I think he saved me…he listened while I cried about the loss of my dog or not having had a shower. He would listen to me, as I would worry about leaving the home I had called my own, or not being able to afford a larger rental. He showed me compassion, as I would also feel a sense of abandoning the only people who extended me a roof over my head, when I had no other options. I know deep down, it is the right choice to move and that if I overstayed what we had outgrown, I could ultimately do more harm then good. Contaminate the years of good memories, with resentment and tarnish the friendship and relationship I have with my landlord that we cherish.
In the weeks to follow, I find a sense of peace. The fact that our growing family of four…will only continue to grow and that’s what it is meant to do. I also think, perhaps the recent trauma has forced me to face my fears, given me the courage to reach out for help when I needed it and to trust in what the future holds for us all.
So, for now I will leave you with this, just like I didn’t know that the average family of four consumes 400 gallons of water a day, while we made do on 80 gallons a day for 6 years. Is just like I didn’t know that when you go threw foreclosure, you may still have outstanding debt. Just like what I do know is, I survived 6 years on 80 gallons a day and I will certainly save again the money, I used to pay off and settle the debt so we can and will buy a home of our own someday:)