Category Archives: Relationships

No Greater Gift

I am one of the many members of “St. Andrew’s Episcopal Church” and have been for over twenty years.  I have now officially been married twice here, to the same man. Baptized two beautiful babies and celebrated while my husband and our two children had their first communion at your alter. What I want to say is that none of this would have been possible without you, “the people”, of this church and I am grateful.

Many of you probably don’t know this about our family, but while we celebrated all these wonderful moments in our church lives our home life and first marriage to each other had fallen apart.  Two years ago, after our first marriage ended in a divorce my husband and I thought we lost everything…and we found ourselves at the doors of this church.  I would like to think, God answered our call but I know his hands were stretched far wider.

I know church is a place where all should feel welcome and sometimes that’s not very easy. A church is still a business that has salaries and bills to pay and at the time, leaning on these doors was a far stretch for even my own faith to reach, but I can tell you today it was worth it. It’s important to know where your consistent charitable donations are being spent and what your selfless time and dedication keeping these doors open means. You are changing the lives of people when they are in need and I share that you are making a difference.

After two years of hard work, support and counseling the “Episcopal Church Diocese” of Connecticut, gave my husband and I their blessing to re-marry and we did on September 13, 2014, here at this church.  This parish the staff and its administration opened its arms and embraced my family in a time of need. The music director played “No Greater Gift” while empowering our children to find their voice. The church administrative officer, not only helped me put together a program that celebrated my life, but include the lives of all people who celebrate joy in forgiveness and believe in the covenant of marriage. The alter guild gave me strength as I anxiously walked toward the alter. To the Reverend Steve Domienik…we are eternally grateful for your leadership, counseling and continued faith in a God which has empowered me to share how great it is to believe he exists.

Lastly and most importantly to my church family, you have given me the opportunity to share how wonderful this church is with so many people and to teach our children having faith can make a difference, in the lives of others.

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365 Days of Joy

I had never imagined that I would still be here sharing the simple moments in my life that I celebrate #365DaysofJoy.  I am truly humbled by all of you, who listen, read and share my story. This journey has led me to be inspired by wonderful new friends, amazing opportunities and most importantly a new found “hope” my children will grow up and share my enthusiasm and passion for life. The greater good has always been for all children to have empathy and gratitude for not just themselves but for those they meet throughout their lives.

This weekend I re-marry the love of my life, again. Thirteen years ago when we first married, I didn’t know what it meant to be married. I was not prepared or ready to make the commitment it takes to have a life long partner. I was selfish, immature and insecure. We were clearly uneducated on what the covenant of marriage meant. I share with you today, “I’m ready” and I know my future husband is. We have both done our homework, finding our self worth and that’s allowed us to make the commitment to being one love. I honor us and our vulnerability to trust one another, the patience needed, the work required, the ability to forgive and have empathy and compassion for our differences. That’s what will sustain our marriage as we face the future ahead.

On July 1, 2001. My wedding day…It was a “fairy tail”. The big white dress, the tiara, the ring, the parties…I guess you could say I ended up suffocating myself in tule while drooling over cake tastings. This was suppose to be, the beginning of the future of all the things I had imagined would validate “me” in life. What I didn’t realize is that no amount of stuff or anyone person could validate me, only I could do that for myself. We came home from our honeymoon, expecting our first child. We moved into the new house we had to buy to raise our children…We got so caught up in making believe that when reality set in, we couldn’t afford the life that brought us nothing more then “fleeting happiness” nor were we equip to handle the underlying problems that had gotten us there to begin with.

In December 2011, we got a divorce. My ex and future husband likes to say, we made the most expensive mistake in our life. I say that’s true, but had it not been for that mistake and the pain it caused; We may not have been here today.

On, September 13th 2014, I look forward to the future with a new found hope and gratitude for the love of my life as husband and wife, sharing #365DaysofJoy till death do us part.  Amen 2 That!

The Ultimate Throwback

When I started my journey to finding my passion,  I was inspired not just by the words and works of other writers, but more importantly the photos that I associated with them. It soon became a quest to seek #365DaysofJoy all year long as I was looking threw hundreds of memories that I truly found Joy, in the simple moments that brought me happiness.

The act of looking at the simple moments that brought me true happiness. 

My ex-husband and I had been living together for two years with our two young children since our divorce back in 2010. I started writing to keep me busy and diminish the anxiety that was starting to build over the holiday season, as I was anxiously awaiting a proposal from him to get re-married again.

We had been married for ten years so I had hundreds of photos of our life together, the life we shared with our two young children. Whether it was a silly face, a new toy, a trip to the zoo, jumping on the trampoline or just camping in the back yard. The photos sparked joy and yes even sadness. Not the sadness of losing all the material stuff that we thought we needed or can no longer afford to buy but sadness that we lost site of the joyful memories we shared just being together that were evident in those photos.

Today I share this with you, in the hope that if you have lost site of what really matters in your life take a look back at your old photos. Look at the expressions on the faces and the feelings that you associated with those moments. Spread them on the walls of your home and use them as daily reminders of what’s really important in your life.

Just maybe you will be inspired to put the past behind you and shine a light on the joy you have today remembering those good feelings. The Joy that I know has lead me to a moment of happiness in sharing my story, with you.

Vulnerable to Share

“Perhaps its the simplest and most popular truths that are also the deepest after all.” Quote-Thomas Merton

Today I am not afraid to share even my most humiliating moments because I genuinely love the women I was born to be and even though I am ashamed of some of the choices I have made; I have either forgiven or taken accountability for them.

In my conversation with people I am open to share not just my success but my failures. Why? People are more at ease to share an honest connection if they don’t feel intimidated by the person they are meeting.

I haven’t met many people who don’t have some form of regret in their life. Of course this leads us back to knowing people or your “target audience”, what can you share that will add value to someone else to make them feel better about themselves?

I like my simple rule upon first meeting someone; what is appropriate enough for my children to hear about me is probably safe to share. There is an appropriate time and place in any level of conncection to disclose the things we survived in our lives, always better to be safe then sorry you scared someone away.

Being cautious is smart and educating yourself on who your audience is by getting to really know people is always something I do myself.  Learn what makes a person happy, who they associate with, what their hobbies are…Find ways to relate with another person simply listening to what makes someone else happy can create a certain happiness or connection in its own right.

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I just love you because….

My Christmas miracle, my ex-husband who I have loved for the past 14 years asked me to be his wife again and I said yes. We married again this past September surrounded by joy and love and leading up to that day I found the following advise worth sharing…

We live in a world where we are pre-judged for our past. I often find we are so afraid to be hurt we aren’t vulnerable to trust in love for fear of the pain it will cause, or the shame we will feel if we fail. No one wants to be judged by others especially if they don’t succeed so they never take that chance.  In this life we need to be accountable to ourselves. Love ourselves so we can give true love to others. It’s really that simple…If you trust and love yourself you are capable of being truly loved by someone else.

Leading by example and listening to our hearts, surrounding ourselves with others who help us discover what makes us worth it. Pay your love forward to the children, they need unconditional love always and that’s the greater good. Have empathy for those who are not able to see or change out of fear, have compassion for them.

Sometimes there doesn’t need to be a reason as much as we want an answer the only answer can be, I just love you because…so stop looking so hard for an explanation and just receive the gift of love and leave it at that.

Letting go…

A moment that brings me joy while I am in such sadness saying goodbye to my home. It is never easy when you lose your home. I am not talking about the home I grew up in as a child, rather the home I grew up to become the women I am today. The home I had to let go of because I had to save what is truly important and that is my family.

Two years ago after I got divorced, I moved out of our family home with my two young children leaving my ex-husband to keep the house. My hope was that he would see holding onto something that we couldn’t sustain wasn’t going to bring back that love we had lost in searching for answers that only we could only find within ourselves.

We have found our way back to one another letting the house go to foreclosure and got re-married this past year. We currently live in a rental that is temporarily keeping a roof over our heads while we float in a sea of bureaucracy that has us fishing for happiness in the simple moments that bring us #365daysofjoy and I am grateful for this.

Today one step forward to putting closure on the past, in being accountable to value what’s truly important in life. Letting go of the home where I grew up to stand up for myself and to teach my children the value of what love really is. I have my family which is what matters most and leaving that house to be only a shadow of the many memories we will make going forward. Goodbye to what I thought I had to have before I grew into the women, wife and mother I am today.